Ohmygodhaveyou heard...?

I've decided to start spreading some interesting rumours about myself, seeing as nobody else seems to be up to the job. Here's a couple of creative but utterly untrue tidbits to get you going:

  • Last year I was involved in a passionate but destructive relationship with a Collingwood footballer.
  • Last month I secretly started dating a woman, but am totally in the closet about the relationship in case word gets out and my artfag reputation is ruined.
  • I own every album Kylie has ever released, and all her singles, but I pretend to loathe her music in order to maintain my streetcred.
  • Several years ago, while working at Dream nightclub, I responded to a question by two cops doing a walk-through by saying, "I'm sorry officer, I can't understand a word you said; I don't speak fascist."
  • I am a card-carrying member of the Liberal Party.
Anyone else care to spread some juicy rumours about me? I've been far too boring of late to get up to much that's gossip-worthy!

Comments

Tim Norton said…
You're sleeping with Shaun Micallef...
8/5/06 02:02
elaine said…
Several years ago, while working at Dream nightclub, I responded to a question by two cops doing a walk-through by saying, "I'm sorry officer, I can't understand a word you said; I don't speak fascist."

I think that may have been me circa 1992. Really. Except that I wouldn't have made the fascist comment, but alerted the managers so that they hid thair massive stash and there would be more non-taxable income for me.

DEAR GOD YOU'RE AN IDENTITY THIEF!!!!
8/5/06 13:19
g-man said…
apparently oprah winfrey threw you off her show after you admitted to saying that you'd prefer if certain minority groups didn't wear your clothes. It's true cause someone forwarded me an email about it a while back.
11/5/06 00:31
richardwatts said…
People: It's true, it's so hard to find a superhero suit that fits...

Monkey: A logical progression!

Elaine: It's true; it's all true. Only last night I stole Gideon Obarzanek's identity so that I can learn to dance better at parties!

G-Man: Ab outrageous lie! Check your sources! It wasn't Oprah, it was Ellen DeGeneres!
11/5/06 07:10
dell said…
it's a big one...

you can't spell...
18/5/06 21:13
richardwatts said…
I can't spell, it's true *collapses weeping inconsolably*
18/5/06 21:24
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